DBT for ADHD

If you’re living with ADHD, you probably know that it isn’t just a feeling of being distracted or forgetful. It’s the racing thoughts that won’t slow down, the emotional rollercoasters that come out of nowhere, and the endless to-do list that never seems to go away, no matter how much you care or how hard you try.

ADHD symptoms can look different for everyone, but they often affect your ability to focus, your motivation levels, your mood, and even your relationships. While there’s no single solution for ADHD, many people are now looking into new ways to get support that feels right for them.

One option that’s gaining a great deal of attention is DBT for ADHD, a skills-based therapy that was originally developed for emotional regulation and is now being adapted for a range of different neurodivergent needs, including ADHD.

Let’s take some time to look into what DBT is, how it works, and why it could be a helpful tool in your ADHD support toolkit.

What You’ll Learn in This Article

This guide is designed to help you feel more informed about whether DBT for ADHD could be a good fit for you.

Whether you’re completely new to therapy, or are just curious about how DBT might work along with your current strategies, we’re here to give you some helpful tips.

By the end of this article, you’ll know:

What DBT is and how it was developed
Why people with ADHD are starting to look into DBT
The main skills that DBT teaches, and how they can be applied to ADHD
How DBT is different from CBT and other ADHD therapies
Who DBT may benefit (and when it might not be the best fit)
How you can explore DBT with the right kind of support

What Is DBT?

DBT, or Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, is a specific type of talk therapy that helps people build practical, lifelong skills that can help them deal with strong emotions, improve their relationships, and stay present, especially during difficult moments when stress levels rise.

If you’ve ever wondered, “What is DBT therapy?” then you're like thousands of other people that are just starting to discover it.

DBT therapy was originally developed in the 1980s by an American psychologist named Dr. Marsha Linehan. It was first created to help people that were living with borderline personality disorder (BPD), or those who had suicidal tendencies and difficulty with emotional regulation. But as time went by, researchers began to realise that DBT could be beneficial in helping a wide range of people, and not just those in crisis.

The basis of dialectical behaviour therapy is about learning how to hold two different ideas at once.

For example: “I’m doing my best, and I want to keep growing.”

This balance between the two ideas is called dialectics, and it’s where the therapy gets its name.

DBT is built around four major skill areas:

Mindfulness – Which is all about staying grounded and focused on the present moment
Emotion regulation – Which deals with understanding and working with strong feelings
Distress tolerance – Focuses on handling tough situations without feeling overwhelmed
Interpersonal effectiveness – Helps set boundaries and communicate clearly with others

While it does have a structured format, DBT is flexible enough to be adapted for different people, including those with ADHD, and you don’t have to be in a crisis to benefit from it. Many people use DBT as a tool in order to help them feel calmer, more capable, and more connected to everything that surrounds them in their daily life.

ADHD & Emotional Regulation

If you’re living with ADHD, you may notice how quickly your emotions can sometimes shift. You can go from calm to frustrated, from energised to overwhelmed, sometimes in the short space of just a few minutes. Emotional regulation is one of the lesser talked about ADHD symptoms, but for many adults, it’s one of the most challenging parts of their everyday life.

This can look like major reactions to really small things. It could feel like you're struggling to “bounce back” after something upsetting happens. Or you may just find it hard to stay calm when you’re feeling misunderstood or under pressure.

What is Rejection Sensitivity?

You might also experience something called rejection sensitivity, which is a really strong emotional response to feeling criticised, ignored, or left out, even if the intent wasn’t negative.

This is where dialectical behaviour therapy for ADHD can be really helpful. One of DBT’s strengths is its focus on teaching clear and practical strategies for dealing with any of these intense emotions and uncomfortable situations.

So, what does DBT therapy treat?

In addition to helping people with conditions like borderline personality disorder and anxiety, DBT is now starting to get recognised as being helpful for ADHD. That’s because it deals with things like:

Impulse control
Emotional reactivity
Low frustration tolerance
Relationship strain caused by miscommunication or overwhelm

DBT for ADHD helps by taking emotional self-management and breaking it down into teachable skills. For example, instead of just being told to “calm down,” you might learn specific grounding techniques, scripts and phrasing for more assertive communication, or different ways to self-soothe when the tension starts to build.

These tools aren’t going to be quick fixes, but with a bit of time and practice, they can start to make a noticeable difference. The best part is that you don’t have to master them overnight. DBT meets you where you are, and lets you build up from there, at your own pace.

DBT vs CBT for ADHD

You might be familiar with CBT, which is short for cognitive behavioural therapy. It’s one of the most well-known therapy styles for mental health and has long been used to help people with ADHD.

How does CBT compare to DBT for ADHD?

CBT focuses on the specific link between thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. The idea is that by identifying certain patterns of thinking that aren’t helpful (like “I always mess things up”), you can shift your emotions and actions in a more helpful direction.

DBT, however, blends emotional regulation with acceptance and change. It still helps you notice these patterns, but it puts more of a focus on calming your nervous system, building up your tolerance to distress, and helps you deal with emotions themselves, instead of just the thoughts behind those emotions.

That’s why when you are considering DBT vs CBT for ADHD, it most often comes down to the specific kind of support that you’re looking for.

If you’re struggling with low motivation, thought patterns that seem to be stuck, or negative self-talk, CBT might be a really great place for you to start.

If your ADHD symptoms include things like emotional outbursts, sensitivity to rejection, or trouble coping when things feel stressful or intense, DBT for ADHD may give you the tools that you need.

Notably, there is no single therapy that is right for everyone. Many therapists actually use a blended approach that combines different aspects from both of these styles depending on your goals and the specific ways in how your ADHD shows up in your daily life.

Both DBT and CBT can be helpful, but in slightly different ways. What matters most is finding a therapy style (and a therapist) that meets you where you are and is supportive in the kind of change that you’re ready to make.

Who Might Benefit from DBT?

If you often feel like your emotions go from 0 to 100 in the blink of an eye, or if you say things before you mean to, or you find it hard to get over feelings of frustration or rejection, it’s important that you understand these are very common experiences for people with ADHD, and they’re exactly the kinds of things DBT is designed to help with.

You might benefit from DBT if you:

Often feel emotionally intense or easily overwhelmed
Struggle with impulse control or saying things you regret
Have frequent misunderstandings or challenges in relationships
Find it hard to regulate your moods, especially if you have co-occurring anxiety or depression
Experience rejection sensitivity or find criticism very painful

What to Expect in DBT Sessions

If you’re thinking about trying DBT for ADHD, it can sometimes help to understand what you can expect before walking into your first session.

DBT therapy is structured, and it is designed to build useful skills, in a step by step fashion. Sessions are usually held once a week (although this can vary depending on your specific needs) and they may be one-on-one with a therapist or as part of a small skills group (or sometimes a combination of both). Some therapists even offer online DBT programs, which can be helpful if in-person sessions are tricky to attend.

At the start of each session: Your therapist will review your diary card with you—a daily tracker where you've logged things like: emotional intensity levels, which DBT skills you tried to use, urges you had (like impulse spending, interrupting people, avoiding tasks), and whether you actually did the things you meant to do that week.

Then you'll identify what to focus on. In standard DBT there's a hierarchy (life-threatening behaviours first, then therapy-interfering behaviours, then quality-of-life issues), but for ADHD it's more likely to be whatever went wrong that week that you need help with.

A typical DBT session might go like this:

You tell your therapist about a situation—maybe you had a huge fight with your partner because they said you "never listen," or you impulsively quit your job, or you've been so overwhelmed you haven't opened your mail in three weeks.

Your therapist will help you break down what happened:

What triggered the situation?
What emotions came up and how intense were they?
What thoughts were running through your mind?
What did you actually do?
What skills could have helped?

Then you practice. This isn't just talking—you might:

Rehearse what you could say differently using an interpersonal effectiveness script (like DEAR MAN: Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, stay Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate)
Practice a distress tolerance technique like TIPP (Temperature, Intense exercise, Paced breathing, Paired muscle relaxation) to manage emotional overwhelm
Work through emotion regulation by identifying and naming what you're actually feeling (ADHD often comes with "emotional flooding" where everything feels like one big chaotic feeling)
Do a mindfulness exercise together—maybe describing objects in the room to practice staying present instead of spinning into anxiety about the future

They'll also problem-solve practical stuff. Like:

"How can we make it easier for you to remember to fill out your diary card?"
"What reminder system could help you use your skills in the moment?"
"What's one small thing you could do this week?"

You'll get homework: usually practicing one or two specific skills in real situations and tracking how it goes.

The difference with DBT for ADHD:

A good therapist will adapt for executive function challenges. They might send you photo reminders of your diary card, help you set phone alarms for skill practice, or chunk homework into smaller pieces. They'll also focus more on skills that help with ADHD-specific struggles like emotional reactivity, impulsivity, and tolerating boring or uncomfortable tasks.

It's structured but conversational. You're not just passively listening—you're actively working through your stuff with specific tools, and your therapist is coaching you in real-time on how to use them.

It’s a collaborative process, and not something that’s “done to you.” The goal with DBT is to build skills that stick, so you can feel more in control and less overwhelmed in everyday situations.

Is DBT for ADHD Right for You?

DBT for ADHD can be an excellent therapy method to help you improve your focus, manage tough emotions and improve the way that you connect with others.

It’s not about fixing yourself or getting everything perfect. Instead, DBT gives you a bit of space and knowledge in order to understand your brain and learn ways to work with it, and not against it.

Remember…everyone’s ADHD is different. What works great for one person might not click for another, and that’s totally okay. The important thing is finding what fits you.

Moving Forward With Kantoko

While DBT can be a helpful tool for managing emotional regulation challenges that sometimes come with ADHD, therapy is just one piece of the puzzle. At Kantoko, we primarily focus on the medical management of ADHD, working with you to find the right medication approach, monitor how it's working, and adjust treatment as your needs change. If therapy like DBT feels right for you, we can discuss it as part of your broader treatment plan, but our core expertise is getting your ADHD symptoms under control through evidence-based medication management.

Ready to start your ADHD Journey? Get Started with Kantoko today.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can you use DBT for ADHD?

Yes, you can. Many people with ADHD find DBT skills helpful, especially when it comes to dealing with emotional intensity, impulsive moments, and staying focused during everyday challenges.

What is the 20 minute rule for ADHD?

It’s a simple, time-based strategy where you commit to a task for just 20 minutes. That short window is often enough to get you started and build momentum, without feeling too overwhelming.

Who is DBT not recommended for?

DBT may not be the best fit for everyone. It’s structured and skill-based, so it might feel tricky if you’re currently dealing with unprocessed trauma or need more intensive support. A qualified therapist can help you figure out if DBT is right for you, where you're at right now.

Which therapy is most effective for ADHD?

There’s no one, specific answer. CBT is often used to help with focus and thinking patterns. DBT can be especially helpful for emotional regulation, relationships, and building coping tools. The most effective therapy is the one that works for you, your needs, your pace, and your goals.

This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider for diagnosis and treatment options.