ADHD and Autism: Daily Life with AuDHD

You've read about the diagnostic criteria, the overlapping symptoms, the neuroscience. But what does having both ADHD and autism actually look like day-to-day?

It's the morning routine you need but can't maintain. The open office that leaves you exhausted by 2pm. The friend who thinks you're flaky when you're just time-blind. The intense emotions you feel but can't name. The push and pull of needing stimulation whilst being easily overwhelmed.

This is the reality many people with both conditions navigate daily—often without realising why things feel so much harder than they should.

This article explores the practical, lived experience of having ADHD and autism together. We'll cover:

Work and productivity challenges
Relationships and social connection
Emotional wellbeing
Daily living tasks
The strengths you bring
Finding support

If you're constantly managing competing needs, exhausted from masking, or finally seeking language for your experience, this guide is for you.

Work and Productivity

For many people with both ADHD and autism, the workplace becomes a daily testing ground for managing competing neurological needs. Your workday might involve:

Hyperfocus and Executive Dysfunction:

Periods of intense deep focus, especially on interesting projects or deep interests
Followed by crashes when focus breaks
Extreme difficulty starting tasks, even important ones
Time blindness making estimation impossible
Difficulty switching between tasks without significant mental effort

Environmental Challenges:

Open office plans are sensory nightmares (noise, visual stimulation, fluorescent lights)
Interruptions derail focus completely
Need for specific conditions to concentrate
Exhaustion from sensory overwhelm by day's end

Communication Patterns:

Direct communication style may be perceived as rude (autism)
Interrupting in meetings (ADHD impulsivity)
Difficulty with vague instructions (need for specificity)
Missing social cues about workplace politics

These workplace challenges don't end when you leave the office—they extend into every relationship and social interaction in your life.

Relationships and Social Connection

Social dynamics present unique challenges when you're managing both conditions. The same executive function difficulties that make work hard also affect how you maintain friendships and navigate relationships.

Communication Mismatches:

Saying the "wrong" thing without realising
Missing subtle social cues or body language
Oversharing when excited or hyperfocused (ADHD)
Or being very private about emotions (autism)
Difficulty with small talk
Preference for depth over breadth in friendships

Social Energy:

Intense drain from social interaction
Need for recovery time after socialising
But also potential loneliness from isolation (ADHD needs stimulation)
Difficulty maintaining friendships without routine contact

Relationship Patterns:

Deep loyalty and care for close people
Challenges with emotional expression (alexithymia)
Executive function affecting reliability (forgetting plans, losing track of time)
Need for clear communication and explicit expectations

The social exhaustion and communication challenges described above often contribute to broader mental health patterns that many people with both conditions experience.

Emotional Wellbeing and Mental Health

The emotional reality of having both ADHD and autism requires particular attention. The constant effort of navigating work, relationships, and daily life whilst managing competing neurological needs takes a toll.

Anxiety: Constant uncertainty about social situations, fear of forgetting things or making mistakes, sensory unpredictability, difficulty with change, and cumulative stress from daily navigation.

Depression: Years of feeling "different" or "wrong," social rejection or isolation experiences, burnout from masking and compensating, executive function impacting life goals, and comparing yourself to neurotypical achievement timelines.

Emotional Regulation: Intense emotions that spike quickly (ADHD), difficulty identifying or expressing them (alexithymia), meltdowns or shutdowns when overwhelmed, long recovery times needed, and guilt or shame about emotional responses.

Self-Esteem: Many people internalise messages of "You're not trying hard enough," "You're too sensitive," "You're lazy," or "Why can't you just be normal?" These messages are wrong. Your brain works differently, and different isn't less than.

Beyond these larger emotional patterns, the executive function challenges that affect work and relationships also impact the seemingly simple tasks of daily living.

Daily Living Tasks

Executive function challenges affect routine tasks that neurotypical people rarely think about:

Organisation: Losing track of belongings, difficulty with household organisation, papers, bills, clutter accumulating, struggling with filing systems.
Routines: Needing routines for stability (autism), struggling to maintain them consistently (ADHD), disrupted routines causing distress, difficulty establishing new habits.
Time Management: Time blindness making scheduling impossible, always running late or stressed about time, difficulty estimating task duration, missing appointments despite caring about them.
Decision Fatigue: Simple decisions (what to eat, what to wear) can be overwhelming, analysis paralysis or impulsive choices, reduced decision-making capacity when tired or overwhelmed.

It's easy to focus only on challenges—but that misses half the story. Having both conditions also brings genuine cognitive and personal strengths.

The Strengths You Bring

Despite challenges, having both conditions brings genuine strengths:

Deep Focus and Expertise: When interest aligns with opportunity, hyperfocus plus deep interests creates extraordinary depth of knowledge and capability.
Creative and Divergent Thinking: Your brain makes connections others miss, approaches problems differently, and generates innovative solutions.
Pattern Recognition: Ability to see systems, patterns, and connections that aren't obvious to neurotypical thinkers.
Authenticity: Many people develop strong authenticity—when masking becomes impossible, you learn to be genuinely yourself.
Justice-Oriented: Common combination of emotional intensity (ADHD) and logical thinking often creates strong sense of fairness and systemic awareness.
Loyalty and Depth: Deep, meaningful connections with people who understand and accept you.

These aren't nice to haves but are the genuine cognitive and personal strengths that contribute meaningfully to work, relationships, and community. Recognising these strengths is part of a broader journey towards self-awareness and acceptance.

Self-Awareness and Acceptance

The path forward involves:

Understanding Your Needs: Identifying your sensory profile, recognising executive function patterns, knowing your capacity limits, understanding recovery requirements.
Accommodations, Not Apologies: Creating environments that work for your brain, asking for what you need without shame, setting boundaries around capacity, choosing sustainable paths over neurotypical timelines.
Finding Your People: Neurodivergent community and understanding, relationships that accept your full self, spaces where you can unmask.
Professional Support: This isn't about fixing yourself—it's about support that helps you navigate a world not designed for your neurology.

Understanding your needs is essential—but so is accessing the right professional support and treatment approaches.

Treatment Considerations When Both Are Present

When ADHD and autism co-occur, an integrated approach is needed:

ADHD Medication: Stimulant and non-stimulant medication can be highly effective for attention and executive function, even when autism is also present. Work with clinicians who understand both conditions, as some medications may feel too activating if you're managing sensory sensitivity or high anxiety.

Therapy and Skills Building:

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) adapted for neurodivergence
Executive function coaching
Social skills work when wanted (focused on goals you set, not forcing neurotypical behaviour)
Sensory integration strategies
Emotional regulation skills considering alexithymia
Approaches that respect your differences

Environmental Modifications:

Workplace accommodations
Sensory-friendly home environment
Routine and structure that works for you
Social demands matched to your capacity

Support for Co-occurring Conditions: Treating anxiety, depression, sleep disorders—these often improve when ADHD/autism are recognised and supported.

Multidisciplinary Care: Optimal support often involves:

Psychiatrist or GP for medication management
Psychologist for therapy and skills
Occupational therapist for sensory and daily living strategies
Speech therapist if communication support needed
NDIS coordination in Australia when eligible

Finding Support That Honours Your Experience

Having both ADHD and autism means having a brain that works differently in multiple, overlapping ways. The challenges are real, but so are the strengths: the deep focus, the pattern recognition, the creative thinking, the authentic way of being in the world.

At Kantoko

our clinicians specialise in ADHD treatment and are trained to recognise how autism overlaps. We provide thorough assessment, and when autism is present, we'll continue managing your ADHD whilst referring you for specialist autism assessment if needed.

Our approach is neurodiversity-affirming:

Different isn't less than
We support you to thrive as yourself, not force neurotypical behaviour
Quality of life matters more than fitting in

Whether you're newly discovering this overlap or finally finding words for what you've always known, you deserve support that honours your full experience. Understanding your sensory needs, executive function patterns, and emotional processing isn't self-indulgence—it's essential knowledge for building a life that works with your brain, not against it.

Ready to take the first step? Get started with us today.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I have both ADHD and autism?

Yes. Both are lifelong neurodevelopmental conditions, and their overlap is now formally recognised in the DSM-5 and ICD-11, allowing for dual diagnosis when criteria for both are met.

Research shows that 30–50% of people with autism also meet criteria for ADHD (50–70% in clinical samples), and the bidirectional relationship is also significant. Many adults only discover this connection later in life, often after years of wondering why things feel different but not having the right framework to understand it.

What does having both conditions look like?

The informal term AuDHD describes people who identify with both. The experience often involves managing seemingly contradictory needs:

Craving novelty and stimulation (ADHD) whilst also needing routine and predictability (autism)
Being impulsive (ADHD) but also cautious about change (autism)
Wanting social connection but finding it exhausting
Experiencing intense emotions but struggling to identify them (alexithymia)
Sensory sensitivity mixed with sensation-seeking
Deep focus on interests (hyperfocus meeting deep interests)

It can feel like constantly managing an internal push and pull, and it's often exhausting. But with the right understanding and support, many people find ways to honour both sets of needs.

How do I know if it's ADHD, autism, or both?

This requires comprehensive assessment with a professional who understands both conditions. Key differences:

ADHD primarily affects:

Attention regulation and focus
Impulse control
Executive function (planning, organising, time management)
Motivation and reward processing

Autism primarily affects:

Sensory information processing
Social communication and interaction
Need for routine and predictability
Deep, focused interests

The challenge is that many symptoms overlap, but for different reasons. For example, both might involve social difficulties—in ADHD from impulsivity, in autism from difficulty reading social cues.

An experienced assessor will look at your developmental history, current functioning, and the specific patterns of how symptoms manifest to determine whether one or both conditions are present.

Why was I diagnosed late / only now learning about this?

Late diagnosis is extremely common for several reasons:

Masking: Many people (especially women) learn to hide their neurodivergent traits, appearing to function whilst struggling internally
Gender bias: Diagnostic criteria were historically based on how conditions present in boys, missing girls and women with different presentations
High intelligence: Cognitive ability can compensate for challenges, hiding struggles
Structured environments: School provides scaffolding that masks executive function difficulties
Misdiagnosis: Being diagnosed with anxiety, depression, or other conditions first
Historical diagnostic framework: Until DSM-5 (2013), attention difficulties in autism were attributed to autism itself, not recognised as separate ADHD

You're not "too successful" or "too old" for these conditions to be real. Late recognition is a well-documented pattern, particularly in people who mask well.

Is it really ADHD/autism or is it just anxiety/depression/trauma?

This is a crucial question that requires professional assessment. The reality is often: it can be both.

ADHD and autism are lifelong neurodevelopmental conditions present from childhood (even if not recognised). Anxiety, depression, and trauma can co-occur with them—in fact, they commonly do, often as a result of years of navigating a neurotypical world without proper support.

Sometimes anxiety or depression are diagnosed first, and the underlying ADHD/autism are missed. Other times, treating ADHD/autism significantly improves mental health because you're finally addressing root causes of distress.

A comprehensive assessment looks at:

Developmental history (were these patterns present in childhood?)
Whether symptoms persist across different contexts
The specific nature of difficulties
How different conditions interact

What's the difference between alexithymia and emotional dysregulation?

Alexithymia = difficulty identifying and describing emotions you're feeling. You feel emotions (often intensely) but can't identify what specific emotion it is or put it into words.

Emotional dysregulation = difficulty modulating the intensity or duration of emotional responses. Emotions come on strong, shift quickly, or last longer than expected.

In ADHD and autism, both often occur together:

You feel something intensely (dysregulation)
But can't identify what it is (alexithymia)
Leading to overwhelm and difficulty communicating to others

Understanding this distinction helps explain why standard emotion regulation advice often doesn't work—you can't regulate an emotion you can't identify.

Will medication help if I have both ADHD and autism?

Medication can be very helpful for ADHD symptoms (attention, executive function, impulsivity) even when autism is also present. Stimulant medications work for many people with both conditions.

However, there are important considerations:

Some medications effective for ADHD might feel too activating if you're managing sensory sensitivity or high anxiety
Lower doses may be needed
Non-stimulant options (atomoxetine, guanfacine) might be preferable for some
There's no medication for core autism traits (social communication, sensory processing), but medications can help with co-occurring anxiety or other challenges

The key is working with clinicians who understand both conditions and can tailor treatment to your specific profile. Medication is often most effective when combined with environmental modifications, therapy, and other supports.

What accommodations might help at work or study?

Effective accommodations depend on your specific needs, but common ones include:

For ADHD:

Flexible deadlines or extended time
Breaking large projects into smaller milestones
Written instructions in addition to verbal
Quiet space or work-from-home options
Timer reminders and external structure

For Autism:

Advance notice of schedule changes
Clear, direct communication
Reduced sensory input (noise-cancelling headphones, adjusted lighting)
Predictable routines
Option to communicate via email rather than phone/meetings

For both:

Flexible work hours
Quiet, distraction-reduced workspace
Regular breaks
Permission to stim or fidget
Understanding supervisors/educators

In Australia, many of these may be covered under workplace reasonable adjustments or NDIS funding when eligible.

How do I explain this to family/friends/employers?

This depends on your relationship and needs, but some approaches:

To loved ones:

Share resources (articles, books) that explain the conditions
Describe your specific experiences, not just clinical criteria
Explain what helps you and what doesn't
Be patient—it may take time for them to understand
Consider whether they're willing to learn or if boundaries are needed

To employers:

You're not obligated to disclose
If seeking accommodations, provide documentation from clinician
Frame requests around what will help you do your job effectively
Consider starting with immediate supervisor before HR
Know your rights regarding disability discrimination

To friends:

Share as much or as little as feels comfortable
Explain what you need in friendship (direct communication, advance notice, etc.)
True friends will want to understand and support you

You don't owe anyone explanation, but for close relationships, education often helps them understand your needs better.

This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider for diagnosis and treatment options.